Deadly Possessions – Conjure Chest and St. Valentine’s Day Massacre – S01E02

image As the Demonic Antiques Roadshow continues, Zak, sitting as though he is the Mafia Don this time, gets two new relics to look over. The first is known as the Conjure Chest and those who store their clothes inside will most assuredly die. It might take 50 years for the curse to take full effect, but in the end, it’ll get ya. The other involves some mob on mob violence – St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

The Conjure Chest is reported to have taken the lives of 17 people in its long history. The story goes a little something like this. It was built by a slave, Hosea. Unfortunately, his owner, Jacob Cooley, didn’t appreciate the effort and beat the poor man to death. However, instead of destroying the chest like you would expect, he kept it and put it in their child’s room after all.

But to seek revenge this act of violence, the slaves put a curse on the chest. They didn’t put a curse on him or his family, but instead chose furniture. From there, multiple deaths are attributed to the chest. Not to the diseases and piss poor medical treatment of the time, but to a chest of drawers that will supposedly taint your clothes to the point they can kill.

However, many believed in the curse and at one time a Conjure Woman took it upon herself to take the curse away. Shortly after she did so, she died. Now, it appears the curse may be lifted, but Zak isn’t taking chances. He refrains from even opening the drawers. He’ll get the museum curator to do it, but he’s too damn scared. He will, however, take full spectrum photos around it.

Low and behold, a blob appears which they feel is an owl – a part of the curse lifting ceremony that was performed.

For the next segment we have a B-grade movie actor show up in mobster garb to offer Zak a deal he can’t refuse. After insulting Zak a couple of times and doing his best to sound like a thug, the stranger shows a picture of the actual St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, believed to have been orchestrated by Al Capone. The mobster clown then disappears and Zak is off to the Mob Museum to check out their display.

It is all shockingly, shockingly, cheesy. Why not just ask Zak to come and look at the exhibit? Who doesn’t want to check out mob history?

They Mob Museum has pieces of the very wall the gangsters where shot against and one of the guns believed to have been used. Zak is able to very lightly touch the gun and then gets down to capturing EVPs.

Billy and Zak believe they capture some voices that are residual energy from the wall.

To be honest, I found this episode to be rather silly. None of it really makes any sense. A curse on a clothes chest? If they were really able to conjure up some serious mojo, why curse a chest? Why not kill the landowner? Why not give him a series of crippling and debilitating heart attacks? Why not make him bleed out his eyes and other orifices? That would have certainly made him suffer. Certainly more along the lines of what he deserved, not some curse on a piece of wood that will affect random people. Nothing about that story makes sense. It doesn’t seem tangible. It doesn’t sound logical. Obviously, I wasn’t there and have no idea what happened. But then again, neither was anyone else telling this story.

The piece about the mob is just laughable. The guy bringing in the picture looks like a reject from a pizza commercial. Anyone remember a Godfather’s Pizza? It’s just silly. And what are we supposed to gain from this little exercise? There was some sort of injustice? There is some hidden message? We get to see a Tommy gun and pieces of a brick wall. They are kind of neat and a tricky bit of business from the mobsters of the day, but are we saying this wall and gun are cursed items? Is the gun going to go off if we don’t ask permission before taking it’s picture? Is the wall going to collapse if we say the blood stains make it ugly? Where exactly are we going with this?

Again, these are not pieces meant to stay in Zak’s collection, but are offerings from others who have come into odd curios and want to share their stories. These are interesting stories, but it’s really hard to put any stock into the legends surrounding them.

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