The Rage

Oh… My… God! What a complete piece of crap that was! Killer vultures on the loose! Or are those ill tempered turkeys out for some Thanksgiving vengeance? Perhaps bald Herons showing their distain for humanity and bad tasting fish. Nothing says terror like blood seeking vultures hell bent on spreading their disease and causing chaos wherever they go.

And it starts off exactly the way you would expect, a crazed scientist trying to mix the perfect formula creates a strain of disease he can’t control. I hate it when that happens.

Enter the band of horny teenagers out for kicks in their Winnebago, who try to take a shortcut, end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, run over "something" in the road and then one by one become victims of the crazed birds. As the teenagers flee for their meager lives where they should they end up? But of course, back in the deserted lab of the scientist who started all the problems in the first place. But he’s dead, right? Why heaven’s no. He’s alive, not exactly doing well, but he’s alive. With festering sores, open wounds and half his face peeling away, he’s still looking to perfect his formula and these scared teenagers will do nicely to help move his experimentations along.

This movie is riddled with every horror cliché you can think of. We’ve got blood, blood and more blood, squirting and dripping from every orifice you can think of. Ninety percent of the film budget must have gone into all the blood they threw around. When it’s not dripping, leaking or oozing, it’s covering the walls like some over the top Halloween Campground Massacre fright night. There’s so much of it, it’s just absurd.

And those vultures? What the hell is up with those things? That is some of the worst CGI work I have ever seen. They look like sock puppets half the time. As they feast on the innards of their prey they look like demonic Muppets. After a while it’s just laughable.

But what’s the point of all? Why is this crazy Russian causing so many problems? Well, wait until the last ten minutes when he has his big soliloquy and reveals the motives for his dastardly works. You’re damn right it’s lame!

If you’re looking for a movie where everyone gets an axe, hammer, screwdriver or saw to the head with blood spurting from the wound then this is your flick. There’s even foul mouthed, ill tempered midgets to boot! I’m not sure this even qualifies as a bad B movie.

Death of a Ghost Hunter

In 2002, renowned Ghost Hunter, Carter Simms, was offered $5,000 to conduct a 3-day and 3-night paranormal investigation of the infamous Masterson House. Twenty years earlier, Minister Joseph Masterson and his family were brutally murdered inside their home. With the aid of a videographer, a reporter, and spiritual advocate, Carter set out to prove or disprove claims that the Masterson House was haunted. What transpired is the most terrifying and tragic paranormal investigation in the history of modern Ghost Hunting.

Basically, a family was brutally murdered in the home and Carter with the help of a cameraman and journalist will try and find some evidence behind the supposed haunting.

Presented as a quasi documentary, Death of a Ghost Hunter feels a lot like watching an episode of the Ghost Hunters TV show on SciFi. Carter Simms explains why she is going to the house, the activity which has supposedly taken place there, the people involved and how she plans to document the activity. There is the quick overview of EMF, EVP and using the night vision cameras to record evidence.

The first part of the “movie” is pretty interesting and is just like watching the TV show. As we progress further we uncover that, Mary Young, is someone who isn’t actually supposed to be a part of the investigation. She is more concerned with protecting the family’s reputation and to make sure their name isn’t soiled by these Godless creatures.

So on with the investigation. Things start happening, figures are seen on the IR cameras, objects actually move. The team becomes unnerved and edgy, but they press on. As they go through the next night they focus on the kids’ rooms and hear and see parts of the crime that took place there. Their nerves are shot and everyone is at their wits end. Tempers flair and Carter and Mary Young come to blows over the family that lived there.

Mary is cast out and sent packing while they prepare for their final night in the house.


What’s starts off as a documentary turns into a horror movie for the final 30 minutes. The evil character is presented and the facts of the case are revealed. Through a slow narrative the details of the crime are presented on-screen, with the true nature of the family being revealed.

I won’t give away what happens specifically, but let’s just say history repeats itself and no one makes it out of the house alive. The evil presence that caused the first murders has returned to complete the cycle.

And in the midst of it all Carter Simms finds herself trapped as one of the ghost she has been previously trying to contact, her ethereal image speaking to the IR camera about the events which have happened.

The ending was only somewhat satisfying because quite frankly it’s a 20 minute narration on what really happened in the house and you have to be force fed the details because there is no way you’re getting this information from the movie itself. And in that big epilogue the whole atmosphere of the ghost hunting and paranormal is totally lost. So basically we shift modes and movie genres mid-stream and then trying and pull it all back together in a separate monologue right at the end. It all works together, but it’s not really seamless and considering the big lead up to the paranormal it’s somewhat of a letdown.

A bit too heavy on the horror movie aspect (but for hardcore horror fans this will be a Disney flick), it’s still atmospheric and creepy, with just enough of the paranormal to keep things interesting. It’s not high dollar or big budget special effects, but it is entertaining and worth renting.

But the big question is, is it a real story?

The movie presents itself as being pieced together from the journal of Carter Simms. From everything I have found and read there was no such person and no such investigation. There is no evidence to support that the story is real in anyway. Once you get to the end you will see it’s a pretty generic storyline with man simply being evil towards man. There is a very slim chance there was a Carter Simms and she met her death while on an investigation, but as you will see it has nothing to do with the ghosts and spirits she was tracking and was more earth bound.

If you scan through the web you get the sense that Death of a Ghost Hunter is film making in the finest tradition of the Blair Witch Project.

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Shaun of the Dead – A Romantic Comedy

Worst romantic comedy ever. However, if you like guns, car crashes, potty humor, swearing and of course, zombies, then this movie is pretty damn funny!

Meet Shaun. Shaun works at a dead end job selling TV’s. He lives with an uptight roommate and a freeloading friend, Ed, he’s known since primary school that can’t seem to pick up anything and of course can’t hold down a job. And then there’s his girlfriend Liz; or rather, ex-girlfriend. She decides that their relationship is going nowhere and she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life going to the pub every night and having Ed hang around. And finally there is the strained relationship Shaun has with his father. Excuse me, Step Father.

As Shaun muddles through life and dealing with the breakup with girlfriend, he begins to realize that everyone in town is turning into zombies. After a slow moving and grunting herd of them show up outside his flat, Shaun and Ed realize they need to do something in order to survive. Inspired by the televisions commentator’s advice of “Cut off their heads or bash in their brains” Shaun and Ed swing into action.

Their modest attempts at tossing toasters and rocks at the undead prove ineffective, they move to the woodshed and the take up arms with cricket bat and shovel. With a quick pummeling to the head, Shaun and Ed feel they have the means to save themselves and rescue Liz. They battle their way across town, bobbing and weaving to collide with zombified pedestrians to save his mum, step dad, Liz and her two friends. Shaun chooses the Winchester Pub as his safe haven and it’s an all out cricket bat swinging survival of the fittest.

Can Shaun and his friends find sanctuary in the pub and if so, how will they survive? How long can they last? Can they outwit the slow moving, but ravenous undead?

And ultimately will Shaun get the girl?

If Shatner were to make a horror film this would be it. Overly dramatic, tension filled, bloody, gory and riddled with gun play, this is some serious fun. Shaun of the Dead is damn is low brow humor at it’s finest.

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