Horror

Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Rating 2 out of 5

Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Rating 2 out of 5

Another tragic rip off and sad remake of the classic Dracula. What the movie lacks in plot and substance it makes up for in blood and lust. The cast is comical in their roles and each seems completely out of their element. Reeves is boring as Harker, Rider is bland and boring as Mina, and Hopkins makes his role far too comical and eccentric (not in a good way) to be suspenseful.

I couldn’t get into this movie at all. It held no suspense, no thrills, was predictable at every turn and ultimately turned into a haphazard mess by the time it was over. There are some moments of excitement but the rest of the film is so devoid of life it makes this movie hard to watch.

There is no mood or atmosphere. There is no belief in the power Dracula has over people – I’m Dracula dammit! I’ll do what I want!

I thought the acting was terrible; it lacks suspense, mood or atmosphere. It’s in my collection as one of many Dracula remakes, but that’s where it will stay.

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White Noise – Rating 2.5 out of 5

After watching all the Ghost Hunters episodes I decided to check out White Noise which is a movie based on the EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) – a way to record voices from the beyond the grave.

Micheal Keaton stars as the successful architect who loses his novelist wife in a random car accident. A mysterious man pays him a visit and claims he has messages from Anna in the Afterlife. Rivers (Keaton) breaks down and decides to hear what the crazy guy has to say. He hears a brief snippet of a static laden recording which is apparently his wife. He of course is immediately drawn in and wants to hear more.

He obsessively sets up recorders and televisions tuned to static in hopes of hearing her. Everything else falls to the wayside, including his son who stops coming to visit. After listening to and watching dozens of hours of audio and video, Rivers begins to get fragments of messages about evil deeds being done in the local area. Anna is trying to warn him so he can save these people. These visions allow him to save a baby trapped in a car and Rivers is convinced his wife is trying to help him.

Keaton pulls off the role of the depressed and desperate father and we are drawn to him (even after he blatantly ignores his son) because he shows the hurt of losing his wife. However, the plot is confusing and jumpy with far too many holes to keep it working smoothly. It’s haphazard and in plenty of places just doesn’t make any sense.

The beginning of the movie has lots of atmosphere as we hear whispers and see faint figures on tape. Is it a blur or is it someone? Was that a desperate cry for help? Rivers gets drawn in nicely, but once we’re there the movie falls apart as a supernatural detective wannabe flick.

Some say the ending is clever and different. Some say the ending is chaotic and confusing. To me it was a hodgepodge of images slapped together to try and be dramatic but comes of flat and without much meaning.

There is a lot of potential in this movie with lots of mood and the EVP angle was interesting, but by the time we got to the end I was ready for this movie to be over.

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Van Helsing – Rating 1 out of 5

Van Helsing – Rating 1 out of 5

This will go down as one of the worst Dracula/Vampire movies of all time. A weak plot, overly done special effects, and too many “novel” characters thrown into one movie make this a must miss film. The only redeeming quality is Kate Beckinsale and her tight outfit, but then again if you want to see more of her you can check out the only slightly better Underworld Evolution.

This movie pulls in every character it can think of, Dracula (who is trying to breathe life into Frankenstein’s Monster), Wolfman (the brother of our fair maiden), Frankenstein’s Monster and even Mr. Hyde makes an appearance in a completely far fetched and unneeded scene.

It’s ridiculous, it’s juvenile and it tries to rip off every movie it can sink its teeth into – Indiana Jones, Bond but yet actually goes nowhere. There is no interesting story, no frights, no scares, no magic.

I bought the deluxe edition only so I could get the original black and white version of Dracula, Frankenstein and Wolfman. The rest of the DVD pack is rubbish.

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The Ring – Rating 3 out of 5

The Ring – Rating 3 out of 5

With its disturbing images and a few good shocks, The Ring is the kind of frightfest you’ll watch to set a chilling mood or spook your susceptible friends, but when you try to sort it out, this well-mounted American remake (of the 1998 Japanese hit Ringu, based on Koji Suzuki’s popular novel) becomes a batch of incoherent parts. The negligible plot follows a Seattle reporter (Naomi Watts) as she investigates the death of her niece, the victim of a mysterious videotape that, according to urban legend, causes the viewer’s death seven days later. (Fear Dot Com borrowed the same idea while avoiding this film’s lofty pretensions.) The countdown structure follows the reporter, her son, and her estranged boyfriend into deepening layers of terror–all quite effective until the movie attempts to explain itself. At that you’re better off shutting down your brain and letting the creepy visuals take over.”

There was a lot of hype over this movie and its deadly plot of watching a video which begins the countdown to your death. I found this movie to be so full of holes and so implausible that it was hard to watch the whole thing. It has an interesting premise and some creepy parts but the movie is so confusing it loses its edge and becomes a mess of unrelated parts.

Too flashy, too Americanized, too blonde… This movie has some good setups for the big scare and some good atmosphere with the creepy sounds and the scary little kids, but overall the movie is rather flat and is hell bent on a journey to no where. By the end of the story when the big explanation comes the movies falls further into the hole of nonsense and I walked away disappointed. What’s more, I watched the original Ringu which is a far superior film in many respects. It sticks with the less is more approach and pulls off a more atmospheric and “uncomfortable movie”.

It’s worth renting, but the hype far outweighs the reality of this film. It’s pretty weak, but could be good late night fodder.

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