American Horror Story – S01E02

Things have really gotten weird. Constance (Jessica Lange) is awesome as the crazy wannabe movie starlet neighbor who has a penchant for young men and makes cakes with Ipecac and spit. We also see that Ben is pretty much a damn liar all way round. He’s really stepped in it with all his cheating and we know damn well and good it’s going to come back and bite him in the ass. Not much sympathy for that chap. Vivien is carrying the spawn of Satan, a la Rosemary’s Baby, and I have no doubt Constance, Moira and Tate are all in cahoots to make it happen. Obviously, this isn’t the first set of bodies they’ve had to bury either. Moira, ever the good housekeeper, will get the shovel.

I did love the groupies breaking in and trying to reenact the previous murders. Although they bungled the hell out of it, thanks to Tate who just happens to be in the right place at the right time. Authenticated murder weapons off eBay! It’s interesting that we see a flashback to yet another murder that took place in the house. There’s a whole stack of bodies in the past of this place.

But Mom kicks some ass and the strange trio comes to rescue in more ways than one. Fun is fun and Vivien is getting the hell out of there. She’s going to sell the house, but will she really be able to?

I can’t say this show is great, and the characters are still pretty lifeless, but it does have some interesting twists and turns to it. I have no doubt the body count will continue to rise.

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The Dead Files – Death and Dolls – S01E04

I think my patience has run its course with this show. Conducting an investigation from these two mindsets is a great idea, but watching Amy is grating to say the least. Her spasms, spouting gibberish, flopping her hands around like she has an illness and her general mannerism while onsite is more than I can deal with. It’s like watching a 4 year old talk about pooh-pooh. I can’t stand the faces, the rolling of the eyes and all that damn fidgeting. We don’t see Chip Coffey, Michelle Belanger or Lorraine Warren act like this when they go on site and they supposedly have the same abilities. Why is Amy on the edge of pure lunacy?

Amy also claims that it takes a lot to scare her, but every episode so far she has flat out said, "I don’t like this, this scares me". In each episode, she’s been freaked out to the point of having to leave and run away. This is supposed to be her job and each location keeps bringing up things she’s never dealt with or experiences before.

This episode was just another exercise in aggravation. Maybe there is something to the Native American practice of sending their dead down the river because there were too many bodies afflicted with disease. Are we really going to believe that these dolls are trapping their souls? If the spirits were already there how come the other owners didn’t complain of anything? How is it the dolls trapped the spirits if the spirits have been there for decades? If this entire area was used by the Native Americans how come other people in the area aren’t having the same problem? Why is it just localized to one house? Even Amy said she could feel spirits all over the place outside? And a child who is obsessed about death and destruction? No surprise there. Considering what’s on TV, in video games and on the web how is a kid going to avoid that kind of stuff? But no no, we have to make the connection that this kid is like Amy because she read Anne Frank. Come on, give me a break.

This show is firmly entrenched in the ridiculous. I haven’t been enjoying these episodes so I may have to skip the rest. I think the Travel Channel has a dud on their hands.

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Ghost Adventures – Winchester Mystery House – S05E04

If you’re looking for a paranormal investigation of the Winchester Mystery House then this isn’t the episode for you. Although the guys go out there and do a walk through, when it comes time for the investigation the tables are turned and we’re drawn in to an unusual experiment. Zak wants to try and connect multiple locations to see if he can get spirits to "travel down the wire" and meet with him. He has the Constantinos at the Washoe Club, and a group of paranormal investigators at Bobby Macky’s Music World. It’s an interesting idea, but I really wanted to see an investigation of the Mystery House.

Joshua Warren is the special guest who will conduct the experiment using a Very Low Frequency generator. The goal is to give the spirits a means of travel so they can come onsite and participate in the investigation.

Right as we begin, the Constantinos suddenly disappear and go offline while the team at Bobby Macky’s hears voices and feels things pass through them. It’s all a bit chaotic really as Aaron gets ill and gets to the point of Zak feeling something may be wrong with him. An investigator at the other location has something follow her home and is plagued with horrible nightmares and aggressive behavior towards her boyfriend. She ends up visiting Bishop James Long who believes she might in the first stages of a possession.

I’m not sure this episode actually accomplished anything. What are the real effects of this Very Low Frequency generator? Are we sure that alone wasn’t causing the feelings people had at the Mystery House? Does the Mystery House have its own energy? We don’t know because it wasn’t really investigation. I have no doubt that house has an effect on people because of all the odd angles and disorienting feeling. What caused some of the voices at Bobby Macky’s? Was there something there? Did a spirit figure how to jump places? Was one of the investigators a victim of an entity? Can this experiment really give entities the ability to come out at multiple locations at once?

This experiment should have been a separate episode rather than piggybacking on an investigation the guys talked about, but ultimately didn’t do. It’s an idea worth pursuing on its own not jumbling it up amongst other ideas.

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The Dead Files – Terror in the Shadows – S01E03

There were a lot of problems with this episode. First off, if Amy has such a hard time dealing with the entities she encounters and feels the urge to run away all the time, why does she keep doing this? She’s constantly going on about how she can’t be in a certain room, can’t go down the stairs, doesn’t like the way she feels and feels pain all the time. If it’s that big a deal maybe you should just stay home? These past three episodes have been about you nearly coming unglued and wanting to hide under the bed. Either face your demons, figuratively and literally, or quit going into people’s houses that might have a problem. If the sight of pizza makes you ill, working at a Pizza Hut might be a bad career choice for you. Just sayin’.

The other problem I have is the claim that shadow figures tried to kill her. When she was four, Amy bit into a power cord and electrocuted herself. She claims that shadow figures encouraged her to do it. Since this sort of thing happens all the time, is she now making the claim that children who bite power cords and stick forks in sockets are at the mercy of shadow figures? I just have a hard time accepting an everyday occurrence and something caused by mystical shadow figures.

What does Amy actually uncover amidst her cowering the corner? She claims there are multiple shadow figures in the house draining the life out of people. She feels they’re evil and could be working to kill someone. Amy is constantly muttering how she’s surrounded by dark energy and they’re all out to get her. She barely manages to stay in one room for more than a few seconds and each place she stops is worse than the last. Finally, she bolts out of the house because she can’t take anymore. When she gathers her wits and can speak again she claims that not only are there shadow people lurking around, but there’s a poltergeist as well. A poltergeist that one of the family members has brought around.

To get away from the house Amy heads over to the garage area where she nearly has another breakdown and claims that two people died in a truck. After only a minute or two, she has to make a hasty retreat from there as well.

Meanwhile Steve interviews the mom, daughter and son to get an idea of what’s going on. They all claim to have had experiences in the house, but mom denies that any of it is real. She believes her kids have seen and experienced things, but she glosses over it and feels she needs to move on with her life. The kids are afraid to sleep upstairs in the house. They didn’t like the place as kids and they don’t like being back as adults. They’re actually afraid for their mom since she lives there alone.

Really the only thing Steve can find is that a death did occur in the garage where a father killed himself and his small son through asphyxia. He hooked up the tailpipe to the interior of a truck and kept it running until they both perished. Horrible to be sure, but how does this explain the shadow figures?

When Amy visits the house to talk to everyone, she’s firmly convinced the mom is causing the poltergeist. She has repressed feelings about the loss of her mother and father as well as the loss of her husband. Because she’s in denial, it’s created this dark energy. Amy doesn’t explain where the shadow figures came from because she doesn’t know. The only thing she can really offer is that mom needs to start dealing with her feelings and maybe some of the energy will dissipate. Not to be rude, but she really doesn’t have much to offer here. Amy basically says she would run away from the house and never come back. Not exactly helpful for the homeowners is it? What do we need to burn the place to the ground to cleanse it?

The kids don’t feel their mother is the cause of the poltergeist either, but that’s to be expected. Not many kids are going to believe their mom is responsible for an evil ball of energy roaming through the house.

When all is said and done, we really don’t settle much. Amy is scared witless by the house and the kids are left in the same situation as before. Is there really something going on in the house or is there some other explanation for the events? Has mom and her repressed feelings about death generated something evil? Is the house really infested with ill-meaning shadow figures?

Is seems to me this is a prime location for a paranormal investigation. Let’s see, who could be get to show up?

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